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Failure by Whose Standards?

Another year has started, and during this time of year people reflect on the negative things that have happened in heir lives in the past. Specifically, I hear students stress over feeling like a failure or feeling like they did not accomplish the goals they set out to reach by the end of the year. To you, I want to offer these words: AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GOING, FAILURE WILL ALWAYS BE IN YOUR PAST. You can only fail if you STOP. If there are things you feel did not go as planned last year, take note, make changes, and move forward knowing that as long as you stay on the path, you have not failed. Even if you got off your path, you can get back on and head toward your dreams. LET'S KEEP FAILURE IN YOUR PAST. So here are few tips to keep failure in your past.

1. Learn from your mistakes. Think of setbacks as just that, temporary setbacks. Failure can be a part of the process if you learn from your mistakes. If you begin to think of failure as a part of your success process, you will begin to think about how you can learn from each mistake or setback in ways that propel you to do better in the future. So with each instance that you consider a setback or mistake, look to learn from those situations.

2. Be realistic about why things did not go as planned. As things do not go as planned, take some time to reflect on why they did not go as planned and aim to do better in the future. You must be realistic in this sense if you truly want to be better in the future. For example, if you did not get that job you wanted, what was it about the interview process that could have been better on your end? When answering this question, think about what is controllable by you. There will be some instances and situations out of your control, but there will always be times you can control things about yourself. So, whenever setbacks come, ask yourself what was in your control. Take the example of the interview again, if you know that you do not interview well, it is in your control to work with a career coach or to have someone conduct a mock interview with you.

3. Define success for yourself. Finally, do not compare yourself to others. If you compare yourself to others, you're not walking in your unique purpose and will begin to let others' view of success influence your decisions. If you have your own idea of success and how you want to contribute to the world, you won't get mixed up in the opinions of others. For example, you might think that your own place at the age of 25 is a good move for you, while someone else is telling you that you need to move forward with buying a home by the age of 25. Buying a home can be a good move if it's right for you and the right timing. It could be that you buy the house of your dreams at the age of 30 because you weren't ready or would have been in a financial strain had you done it at age 25. In other words, don't let others rush you and be sure ti have an idea of what you want to achieve for yourself rather than letting what others do be your guide to success.

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